Monday, January 28, 2013

Baseball & the choice my husband made to close the Chapter


I have been meaning to write this blog for a few weeks now but things have been crazy and I wasn't sure of what to say, but a lot of wives and friends have been asking us about baseball the past few weeks so Ive finally decided to sit down and share with you my sweet husbands story.

My husband, Ruben Flores a rhp was drafted out of high school in 2002 by the Cleveland Indians in the 29th round draft. He decided at the time, it wasn't right so went on to College. That next year, he was drafted again in 2003 by the Seattle Mariners in the 12th round draft. This time, my eager beaver took the challenge and moved to Arizona for rookie ball. The next season he moved to Lake Stevens, Washington for the season and ended up breaking his wrist playing. He stayed there with his broken wrist and a few months later during his rehab he realized he couldn't throw and his shoulder was experiencing severe issues. The Mariners flew him to Seattle and it was determined that he needed his first surgery for a Labrum repair. He spent the next year rehabbing and came back the next spring training in Arizona ready to roll. He played the whole next season and his shoulder started hurting again while he was in California playing. He had a second surgery on his shoulder at this time. He spent another year in rehab. The next season he made the All Star Team and his team was #1 in the League. I loved that team. They were a great group of guys on the team, some of which ended up becoming such good friends they were in our wedding, and the fans were amazing! They were so welcoming and very loyal.

This particular year he was eligible for rule 5 draft. After being moved up after winning the All Star Game, he called me when I was dropping the girls off at school one day and told me he was just traded. After 6 years with the Seattle Mariners he was traded for Bill Hall, a big league guy with the Brewers. It was all over ESPN and the news that night. I was shocked. So the next day he flew from California to Florida for  the last month of the season with the Brewers. It was a weird mix of emotions for us both and a little shocking but at least it was the last month of the season.
 
That off season, he was now eligible for free agency. The Brewers called and wanted him back, The  Red Sox called and low and behold, Seattle called, after they traded him. We spent two weeks going over major pros and cons of each team. It was a huge decision but for us but we decided to give the Brewers another try for no reason other than we thought at the time it was best for his future and his career in baseball. So back to Florida we went that next Spring. I loved visiting there, solely for the beach but the team never felt right for him. It seemed to turn into more of a job and his passion started to fade that year. We were definitely ready for the year to be over. It was a rough year and he was going thru some personal things that made it hard to cope with playing that year. He wanted to be anywhere but there.

That off season when he came home, he felt he needed to move on. He started a whole new career path and tried to purse the Phoenix Fire Department. He always has wanted to work for the government in some sort. As soon as he got the call to interview with them, literally the same week his agent called with some teams who were interested. We went back and forth and what was best for him, and us and if he felt his heart was still in it. We decided to give it one more year. I told him you cant just stop because you have crappy year. I knew if he said no, he would regret it and always ask himself what if. So that spring, once again he left. We had a two bedroom apartment in Avon, Ohio near the lake. This was my ultimate favorite, favorite year, team, fans, town you name it!!! It was Indy ball, and Brew had nothing to worry about but playing for the only reason to play again, his passion and love of the game! And it worked!! The best fans, a great team of guys, a charming and beautiful town. I wish I could have stayed there the whole time with him. I visited much more that year with the girls. He did Amazing that season. The fans and news nubbed him the "ice man", which just makes me giggle thinking about it, because if you know my husband he is the sweetest, quietest, patient man, definitely not made of ice! He held the league record of 21 saves and a 2.24 ERA. The team made the playoffs and naturally I flew out right away. The last game of the playoffs his parents and I both were there. It was an awesome night and end to the season. Brew came running out 2 minutes later and said the Red Sox just purchased his contract. I knew his hard work paid off that season and he was noticed again. You cant say no to the Red Sox twice, so I wouldn't let him say no.

Our first year in Florida for ST was a challenge especially with him leaving so much sooner but It was a great place to visit when I went out. He had a great season but he began over pitching and pitching too many consecutive innings too many days in a row. A lot of guys were on the DL that season so the team was hurting to use every pitcher with little rest. In July, something happened to his elbow. He couldn't throw and was in major pain. They sent him to the doctor and eventually was called down to Florida to the Red Sox Spring training facility to rehab his arm. He was there for about a month and didn't throw the whole time until the last day. When he came home we rested his arm for months, which is what he was instructed to do.
 
During these past few months, I think he began to lose his faith in the sport and himself. I encouraged him to pick up the ball and try but I know he was afraid. His elbow and shoulder hurt just doing every day things still. He reverted back to his back up plan which I guess for me was somehow a sigh of relief but also heartbreak at the same time. We didn't talk about baseball for a long time. He got too upset and I couldn't bear the random emotions when we did or the tears I always had. I finally encouraged him to try to start his throwing program a few weeks ago which didn't go well. His elbow was in pain and he just couldn't throw. He has decided now his heart is ready to move on and he just cant take anymore of the unstable life baseball brings. He is tired of getting injured. It has taken a huge toll on him the past 9 years and you give up alot in playing and being away from your family for 7 months a year. We all do, but I was okay with that sacrifice because it has allowed us new experiences, new friends and great memories. We got to visit amazing places we would have never visited otherwise and I was watching my husband live his dream and do what he loved. That's all that mattered to me.
 
I have experienced such sadness throughout this whole ordeal and his choice to not get his arm taken care of and move on. Nothing is more devastating than a whole life you've had and the only thing you've known disappearing. This is all he has ever done. Its like graduating high school all over again and starting fresh. Of course, I am the only one who sees that and he expects his new "career" to happen overnight instead of evolve over time as the past 9 year career has. Way too hard on himself. Now a few weeks after deciding that he is ready to "retire" from baseball, although I'm sure there will always be sadness involved, I think we have both become much more excited for our future. I think when he understood (and I drilled into him) he has been blessed to play baseball for so many years and organizations continued year after year to see something in him, that he came a long way. A lot of guys don't make it so long. That alone is an accomplishment to be proud of. I am much more at peace with his decision which he has asked me to me a million times. I have better understanding of why he is moving on and I am proud of his strength and trusting in god for his future. Our life isn't going to be all figured out at once and I'm okay with that. We have a great life without baseball and have been very blessed. He is testing and trying out new career options while he makes this change and Ill support whatever he chooses, but baseball will always be a big part of our life. I know he is still hurt and that hurts me the most but we are open to whatever comes next and whatever plan god has in store for him. I know something bigger and better is in our future.
 
 I am thrilled to not have countdown of 18 more days with him before he would normally leave for Spring Training. So many of my friends are already posting their husbands countdowns before they leave and I for once, don't have to. I actually for the first time in our whole relationship get to spend our first Summer together! Our first 4th of July together and so many more awesome things he always misses! We can take a real Summer vacation and not just me and the girls visiting some random town for our summer vacation. This is definitely a huge adjustment period for us andfeels a little weird as Spring training is around the corner, but we are taking it a day at a time. I can tell you not having to rush home to Skype with my own husband or to have to take Red eyes just to see him on a 3 day weekend, just makes me smile! For me being away from him is normal, long phone calls, two living expenses, dealing with the girls and dogs as a single mom for half the year, all normal, but I am more excited than ever to have a real normal life. I cant imagine what that even means just yet but we ready it. I married him for a reason, I love being in his presence and I am so blessed to call him my husband. We are so excited to move on, expand our family and enjoy our time together for the first time when weve normally had so little of it.
 
Welcome to my normal life...life after baseball. where I suppose I need to shave my legs daily now and wont get a baseball season break....<3
xoxo - Autumn


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